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SHAMANIC
BREATHWORK SESSION
TRANSCRIPT
FROM A META-BREATHWORK/ SHAMANIC JOURNEY
COURTESY
OF DAN 2005
From
the seemingly unnatural darkness, and seemingly
forced breathing arises a calm. It is a deep calm
that could be associated with absolute familiarity.
Performing this action that I had never had any
cause to undertake before, as if it were the most
natural thing in the world. Sensation begins at
the temples. A release, an unscrewing. I felt
my forehead expanding outwards and my ears gently
pulling towards my spine. Each time the breath
is repeated the pleasant sensation of light electricity
and minute temperature change spreads around the
head, into the neck, and across the shoulders.
Very aware of the eyes, which feel turgid and
excited, beneath the eyelids. Coming into tune
with different rhythms. The rise and fall of the
breath, the subtle monotonous drone of the music,
which seems to be emanating through the entire
body becoming a natural rhythm in itself; and
the heart-beat which can be felt pounding in the
chest, resonating around the blood vessels.
The
first overt physical feelings began in my hands.
As the breathing continued they seemed to fill
with an energy not dissimilar in feeling to pins
and needles, but far more intense and without
any discomfort. As I felt them growing in size
and strength and changing their shape I held the
out in front of me to test out the way these new
appendages felt. Opening and clenching of the
fingers became a very pleasant experience; on
clenching a slight outward resistance, like squeezing
snow into a ball. On stretching out again the
feeling of having strong metallic rods lying alongside
the bones of my fingers, sliding into place and
taking any work out of the movement. My hands,
which were held out in front of me, became visually
manifested in front of me as two golden white
lights. Unlike the physical feelings, which came
on gradually, the visual experience began abstractly,
but quickly became very intense and crystal clear.
Around the lights that were my hands I noticed
the movement of a black mass, which shimmered
into deep greens as it moved. I knew at once the
feeling of a presence surrounding and permeating
me, as the feeling I had encountered on a previous
shamanic journey when I came into contact with
my spirit counterpart, a dragon whose name I still
haven't a clue how to spell. Instant recognition
and rapport, coupled with both a physical and
a mental closeness. I began to feel myself in
close contact with this being, my body pressed
against its vast hulking back. Then I saw my hands
clenched tightly in front of me holding fistfuls
of hair, and I knew we were flying, but I could
only look down, towards the floor. Knowing that
my hands were capable of hanging on for me, without
my concentration I began to take notice of the
water below. Black water, glimmering with silver,
rushing past at high speeds as we flew over it.
I became entranced by the patterns and beauty
of this silver against the cold black, and noticed
that the silver was also reflecting on the scales
of my dragon. Throughout this flight I felt an
irrepressible smile spreading throughout my body,
manifesting itself in an enormous grin I could
feel my face straining under the size of. Sheer
beauty and the simple enjoyment of this beauty
caused in me a bliss that took the grin to its
next natural stage of laughter; which rippled
through my entire body, just before I got the
urge to take a deep breath and hold it. Within
this held breath, the silver patterns were intensified
ten fold. I saw other beings dancing in the silver…and
could only gawp in awe and wonder. My body began
to convulse, and although aware of this going
on, it didn't feel like I suppose it must have
looked. To me it felt like a powerful ball of
energy at the very core of me, somewhere in my
torso or lower back was simply dissipating outwards;
but I also knew that my limbs were displaying
a more forceful reaction. After the shaking came
a calm. An enjoyment of winding down from the
heights; a return to a more natural breathing
pattern, and to more familiar thought patterns.
But then something in the music, or something
done around my body-a touch, or the introduction
of incense, or a breath would catch me again,
and a thought would begin urging me to resume
the breathing pattern, without stopping.
This
cycle played through a total of five times, including
the first; starting with a gradual increase in
bodily sensation, followed by the introduction
of a visual element. This then transcending into
clarity and bliss, before returning, slowly to
a more normal state, at which point, apart from
the last the urge to begin again was roused by
an inner voice.
The
first cycle was very visual, the second and third
were far more physical. In the second the feeling
of a gathering energy that had begun in my hands
the first time around, began this time in my chest.
My torso began to feel huge; As If I would struggle
to touch my fingers together across it. This time
when the flight began I could look up and straight
ahead. Instead of holding onto the dragon, it
and I were one…one chest at least. I saw us coming
up fast on a mountain range, which the flight
over was the cause of my second held breath. The
purples and blues of ice-caps on mountains in
absolute detail had me twitching with delight.
The second and third cycles ran into each other
quite a lot, so it is difficult to separate them,
but, on my way down from the awe of the mountain
tops, I realised that we had travelled deep inside
one of them, into a warm, dark place surrounded
by gold. Absolute contentment is the only description
worthy. I knew what it was like to stay in one
place, in one position for hundreds of years;
just content to be in this cave, in the presence
of this gold. The return of the physical feeling
this time came strongly from my legs, particularly
my thighs. This is where the contentment seemed
to emanate from; as it did, my back arching, increasing
the pleasure sending twinges right down to the
bottom of my spine and out into my buttocks. At
this point everything became wonderful. Moving
my head a few millimetres to the left then to
the right caused sheer delight. Whilst raising
my knees up to my chest bordered on the orgasmic.
At
the end of this third cycle I thought I was through.
My body felt like it had been charged to the point
where it could be charged no more. It was then
that thought came into the equation where until
now it had been absent. I feel that this, the
fourth cycle was the most intense of all. My emotions
became involved, at a very highly charged level.
Feelings of inadequacy turned inward to form self
hate, and anger. I was being challenged, at my
most basic level. Are you worthy? Of what, I can't
pin-point…worthy of existence? Worthy of the kind
of knowledge that an inward journey may reveal?
All I knew was that I had to respond to the challenge,
in the only way that I could; by intensifying
the breathing, by proving that I could take what
ever this journey had to offer me. It was not
easy; I began to feel pain in my chest and across
my forehead. I had been forewarned about pain,
and told to use it as a tool, and so directing
my guide to these points of pain, I began to steer
into it. Through clenched teeth each breath became
an ordeal. My feet clawed at the blanket, as did
my hands; and as I continued my rage grew, and
as it grew my strength and ability to go on increased.
This was the crossover point. There was a place
where I was in so much pain, but so ready too
go on, that the silent challenge relented, and
became congratulatory. In the time that followed
I was shown all the secrets of the universe. Eternity,
humanity, acceptance and love, love, love. Joy
incarnate was I; stripped of everything and shown
what exists underneath it all, and instilled with
the knowledge that no-matter how bad things look,
or unlikely it may begin to seem, that what we
believe and hold dear is not a false hope. I wept
with joy, I kissed the hands of my guide, grateful
with every grain of my being. Then the blinding
light that had been switched on began to dim down.
But I wasn't upset, as my new knowledge told me
not be, as such things cannot be perpetual; but
we can find joy in the knowledge that we have
known them, and know that we may return, whenever
we wish. I was left with a beautiful purple sphere
floating in front of me, reminding me to take
heed of what I had seen, and never to forget.
As I returned to my more normal state, this purple
orb came towards me, and fused itself into my
chest, leaving a bright aura all around me.
This
was the end of the visual journey for me. At the
end of the fourth cycle I became aware of my surroundings.
Much more so than before; I became aware that
I had been sweating, and that the blanket was
damp. When I felt the urge to continue with the
breath work rising in me, I wondered if I should
follow it or not. I did follow it, but the cycle
did not follow the course of the preceding four.
There was no build of physical or mental stimulus;
it was more like a prolonged plateau of pleasure,
which came from the mind as an echo of the bliss
from the fourth cycle, combined with the bodily
pleasure of the first three. The sprinkles on
the frosting on the icing on the cake was the
big wonderful hug I received from my guide as
I opened my eyes.
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